Prom was amazing, but you knew that. ACW doesn’t put on bad shows, and downtown Austin was treated to another night of the world’s most violent art form at its most beautiful. People dressed up, people broke up, people danced, people partied, people cried, people wrestled, people prommed.
It was just like your Prom but better. Even the Prom Queen was prettier.
Nothing is As Real As A Dream 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
The Mohawk- Austin, TX
a. ACW Hardcore Championship: Matthew Palmer(c) defeated Gregory James, JC Bravo and Jordan Jensen to retain.
b. “The Wrestling Goddess” Athena defeated Barbi Hayden with the O-Face
1. The Takeover (Ken Carson & “Cowboy” James Claxton) (w/ Jaykus Plisken & Miss Maulie) defeated The Electric Company (Bolt Brady & Ricky Romida)
2. “The Mind of Wrestling” JT LaMotta defeated Chingo del Santo
3. Mojo Bravado (JoJo Bravo & Jordan Jensen) defeated Slim Sexy & JC Bravo when JoJo pinned JC.
4. Matthew Palmer & Su Yung defeated Davey Vega & “The Wrestling Goddess” Athena
5. Robert Evans defeated Pierre Abernathy
6. ACW Tag Team Championship Match: Darin Childs & Khris Wolfe(c) (w/ Machiko) defeated The Lost Boys (Jason Silver & Sky DeLacrimosa) to win the titles.
7. Dream Tag Team Evening Gown Match: ACW American Joshi Champion Angel Blue & Lady Poison defeated Rachel Summerlyn & Portia Perez
8. ACW Heavyweight Championship Match: ACH(c) defeated “The Infamous” Shawn Vexx and Jaykus Plisken to retain the title.
9. Jerry Lynn & Mat Fitchett defeated The Submission Squad (Gary Jay & Evan Gelistico) when Fitchett pinned Jay just before Lynn submitted to Gelistico.
Jordan Jensen, who seemed fairly intent on channeling Razor Ramon HG for most of the night, was nevertheless outstanding in both his opening match and his impromptu tag match later with JoJo Bravo. Mojo Bravado are looking to be serious threats to the tag titles in the future. Likewise, Barbi Hayden showed that the American Joshi title is on her horizon with an excellent match against former champ Athena, who returned home after a several month absence. Barbie, Jordan, and Jojo get better every time they step foot in Anarchy.
Killah Kash would like the same to be said of him, but that wasn’t in the script. Kash made lots of noise about how intensely he was training for his grudge match with Scot Summers. He was boxing, running, studying tape. That didn’t matter because the match didn’t happen, via Scot Summers running in and just beating the shit out of Kash. Scot’s rage was understandable, Kash nearly took out his eye, but Kash is surely just as angry over not having a chance to prove his worth against Summers one-on-one. More to come.
Matthew Palmer AKA Mr. Prom lived up to his name and pulled double-duty at Nothing is As Real As A Dream. He successfully defended his Hardcore title in a wild four -man scramble then made a second appearance in the double date tag match. His “date” was Su Yung and they took on Submission Squad power couple Athena and Davey Vega. Both pairs danced with each before wrestling, then switched partners, leading to an elegant slow dance from Davey and Palmer, some booty rocking from Athena and Yung, and then a sneak attack from Athena to Yung because Athena is a really bad dance partner [1. And Athena always uses her booty to bully others.]. Yung got her mean girl on as well, and tried to rip Vega’s face off whenever he was tagged in. Yung’s surprising nasty streak continued as she won the match by holding Athena’s tights.
Vega was actually Athena’s second choice for a prom date. Some marginal actor named “The Stone” or “Granite” or something was her first, but he ignored all her requests. Post-match Athena got the impression that this tool was on his way to the ring and fainted, before Vega could get a goodnight kiss. Turns out, it was just Pierre Abernathy.
“Big Daddy” inadvertently ruined Vega’s night, but made up for it with a fantastic match against with Robert Evans. Evans attacked Pierre with a wrench (shades of pre-reformation Portia Perez), but Abernathy fought valiantly to the end and almost dethroned the King of Anarchy. Pierre, who is usually reviled by fans, was cheered loudly and put on one of the best matches of the night [2. DDS Karma in effect.]. Evans’ sadism, on the other hand, began to turn some of his most loyal subjects against him.
The Lost Boys’ bloody reign with the ACW Tag Team Titles began last October, and all attempts at slaying the vamps proved unsuccessful. Last Sunday, they met their greatest rivals, former Children of Pain stablemates Darin Childs and Khris Wolfe (Fathers of Violence? CW Wetwork?). DC and K Dub had been watching tapes of Buffy Summers, Eric Brooks, and the Frog Brothers for months ahead of this opportunity and swore to leave Silver and Lacrimosa as piles of dust. The Vamps, crafty as always, opened the bout by removing their masks spitting blood [3. Some of which got on my tie, a red stain that turned black and caused me to leave it behind in the hotel room.] in the face of Darin and Khris, immediately gaining the advantage.
Things were back and forth from there until Darin absolutely murdered Silver with some chairs on the outside. Even more, Vexx and Kash were ready to run-in as soon as Wolfe and Childs gained ground. However, months of relying on sneak attacks earned The Lost Boys some bad Karma, manifested in the form of Scot Summers, who wanted another piece of Kash. Summers brought his non-ACW tag partner Ryan Genesis with him. They took out Kash and Vexx and then cost the Children of Pain 2.0 the titles.
The Vamps were pretty angry at having their own tactics turned against them and felt Wolfe and Childs didn’t earn the belts, but this is Anarchy. Learn how to defend yourself, or learn how to lose.
The next chapter in the Portia Perez saga started off shockingly upbeat. Portia, seeking redemption for her past as “pretty much” the worst person in the world, asked to be Rachel’s partner in the mystery tag-partner evening gown match. Portia came out with a lovely blue Cookie Monster inspired dress and she was….smiling. And slapping hands with the fans? She seemed genuinely…happy? It was actually pretty nice, as was Rachel Summerlyn’s matching Big Bird dress. Rachel was also voted Prom Queen, well deserved. Everything was smiles and rainbows and unicorns until Angel Blue came out and things got dark.
Angel’s “mystery” partner was no real mystery. She chose the person who would hurt Rachel the most, Lady Poison. It was at Guilt By Association 6 that Poison took Rachel’s partner Jessica James away, seemingly for good. And, of course, Rachel also had to deal with the fact that as sincere as Portia seem, she couldn’t really be trusted. Things were intense.
Portia proved a mostly reliable partner though, and worked extremely well with Rachel. It was Blue and Poison that had problems. Poison took poorly to Blue’s instruction, and she couldn’t decide if she wanted to start helping Rachel, or devour her. There were even signs of Jessica breaking at as she allowed Rachel to fling her around for the windmill kick. But, in the end, as always, Poison chose “devour.”
She gave Rachel a poison kiss and eliminated her from the match. Poison also removed her own dress, taking herself out of the match, her hunger sated. That left Angel Blue and Portia to fight while, an unconscious Rachel lay on the mat. Having lost her hired death zombie, Blue went to Plan B: glitter. She threw it in Portia’s eye, blinding her. At this time, Rachel came to and went after Blue which led her to eating superkick from an unaware Portia. Blue took advantage of the confusion and removed Portia’s dress, winning the match. Rachel glared at Portia, betrayed. Portia remained in the ring, distraught at having, definitely, possibly turned on Rachel without intending to.
It was in this moment of weakness that Robert Evans, of course, made his way down to the ring, to reconcile with Portia, to start anew. He did it by berating her for failing in her match, for telling her she’s evil and twisted and broken, just like him. He said they belonged together and offered Portia a gift: lovely white flowers and…a framed picture of Portia’s sister. Portia freaked out (“majorly”), and flung the picture into the crowd before storming off. It was Robert that was now left in the ring, distraught and on the verge of tears. He retrieved the picture and gripped it so tightly that the glass cover broke, as something else broke inside of him.
In the Semi-Main Event, Prom King ACH remained the real people’s champion, pinning both Shawn Vexx and Jaykus Plisken in a three way match. Post-match Jaykus was upset, as he seemed to be under the impression pinfalls only really count if you do a “power move,” feeling ACH’s hurricanrana roll up wasn’t a strong enough grapple (and I thought ACH was the one that was obsessed with video games).
And in the main event, Evan Gelistico made Jerry Lynn tap out. Yes, the Submission Squad lost a worthy match to the team of Mat Fitchett and the soon retiring Lynn, but while Mat was pinning Gary Jay, Evan locked the St. Louis Stretch onto Lynn. Jerry submitted just after the bell rang, giving Evan everything he ever wanted.
And that was the magical, unforgettable night of ACW Prom 2012. Enjoy the photos, and see even more great ones at TexasAnarchy.org, especially the official Prom Pics of of various anarchists with fans. Only in ACW! Peace.