JoshiMania: Night Two – Return to ARSION

JoshiMania Night One Results and Photos

Night Two of CHIKARA’s JoshiMania found the show in the city of Everett, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston. If there was any debate on whether Philly or Beantown was the superior sports city, JoshiMania settled it definitively. The Night One Philadelphia crowd often seemed subdued, as if they were at another lackluster Eagles game. On the other hand the Boston crowd, though smaller, was louder and they excitedly cheered like fans watching Tom Brady make another march down the field to the end zone. Much like the Patriots, JoshiMania rewarded those fans with an unforgettable night of action.

JoshiMania Night Two

December 3rd, 2011
Everett Rec Center – Everett, MA

  1. Toshie Uematsu & GAMI defeated Cherry & Sawako Shimono with a Dragon Suplex by Uematsu on Shimono
  2. Ophidian defeated Gregory Iron by submission with the Naje Haje (Egyptian Cobra) Clutch
  3. Kaori Yoneyama defeated Hanako Nakamori with the Destiny Hammer
  4. Mayumi Ozaki defeated Mio Shirai with Shining Yakuza Kick
  5. Sara Del Rey defeated Tsubasa Kuragaki with the Royal Butterfly Suplex
  6. Mamami Toyota, Mike Quakenbush, Fire Ant & Green Ant defeated Portia Perez, Icarus, Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano with a spinning Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex by Toyota to Perez
  7. Aja Kong defeated Ayako Hamada with the Uraken

The 12th man in Everett made its first appearance in the Broshimania tilt between Ophidian and Gregory Iron. Iron has been seen as a boy fighting against the odds to live his dream, but he became a man at JoshiMania. An Iron Man to be exact.

Ophidian came out for the match carrying Amasis‘ mask on his hand. He “talked” to his former partner and blamed him for all of the venemous acts he was about to inflict on young Gregory. The Cobra commanded most of this engagement, always seeming to slither his way ahead of Iron. However, whenever the Handicapped Hero looked almost out of if the crowd came alive with chants of, “I-RON-MAN! I-RON-MAN!” This managed to fire up Gregory enough to survive multiple attempts at the Naja Haje Clutch. Unfortunately Greg and his fans could only do so much against the newly motivated Ophidian, and Iron was eventually forced to submit.

The town that’s used to seeing the Greatest Quarterback of All Time lead his team to victory also had the treat of seeing the Greatest Wrestler of All Time, Manami Toyota lead her team to a thrilling win over the formidable Campeones des Parajes Champs FIST and probationary FIST-er Portia Perez (yes, she received a FIST wristband, sorry Akuma[1. Original FIST member Gran Akuma was kicked out of the group at the first Chikarasaurs Rex after a losing skid. His FISTband was given to Johnny Gargano who took his place. Apparently this could have all been avoided if they had had an extra bracelet back then.]).

The match started exactly as it should have with Icarus attempting to woo the Lady Toyota with a striptease of his epic back tattoo. She gave him a running boot that sent him into the bleachers, whimpering. We all know Icarus is the Worst in the World, and that Portia is the Worst Person in the World, but her claims of being the Best Wrestler going today need to be taken seriously. She even recently captured the ACW Anarchy Championship, the first woman to do so in the companies’ 5 year history.

Toyota, however, looked just about as great as she ever has and was wonderfully complimented by Mike Quackenbush and The Colony. Toyota even sported some new red and black gear which, besides matching Mike, also hinted to the outfit she wore back in ARSION (more on that later). Portia, on the other hand, never really seemed to get in a groove with FIST and even refused to join in the Chuckie and Johnny feel-good boogie-woogie stomp-time dance. This lack of cohesion gave the all-time best the advantage over the best right now. Toyota finished off Portia with a Grade A J.O.C. for the win.

There’s no “I” in Team and there’s no “Portia” in FIST. We were informed by Gargano and Taylor post-match that, yes, Portia was no longer a member of FIST due to A. taking the loss, B. not dancing, and C. failing to steal a fan’s bag when prompted by Gargano. Shame.

In two seperate multi-generational battles, veterans Kaori Yoneyama and Mayumi Ozaki faced, and defeated, their younger counterparts in Hanako Nakamori and Mio Shirai, respectively. Both were solid matches, the Oz/Mio match particularly so. They had teamed the night before and, unfortunately for Mio, this did not lead Ozaki to show any more respect for the rules or her opponent than usual. Ozaki bit and clawed her way to a hard win over Mio who, again, was an absolute star.

Two huge singles matches competed for best of the night. One a first time ever matchup, the other the latest battle in a decade of war.

Sara Del Rey versus Tsubasa Kuragaki was stellar. Tsubasa already showed off how incalculably powerful she is on JoshiMania Night One, but if anyone had doubts she managed to put Death Rey in a Canadian Backbreaker while perched from a turnbuckle. Simply unbelievable. Wisely, Del Rey attempted to chop down her stout opponent with holds and strikes, but Kuragaki would not stop coming. Tsubasa was at JoshiMania to prove that she deserved just as much respect as a Kana or Ayumi Kurihara, and no one who saw this amazing match would doubt it. Epic from first to last.

The finale was the latest chapter in the pain filled history of Ayako Hamada and Aja Kong. Their story began in the ARSION promotion after leaving AJW in the late 90’s. Ayako Hamada began her career in the promotion and was immediately marked as its future ace. She reached that point, at the young age of 18, by defeated the legendary Kong for the Queen of ARSION title [3. See Aja Kong vs Ayako Hamada Queen of ARSION match here.]. They’ve faced off several times since then in multiple promotions for various titles.

In CHIKARA, it was pride that was on the line. Ayako entered the ring and immediately got in Kong’s face, showing that she considered herself equal to her former trainer. Kong answered this in the only language she understands: violence. Calling this match “physical” is tragic understatement. This was Joshi Total War at its most violent, and therefore most beautiful. It was as good as any of their previous encounters, and Aja threw the Uraken as hard as she ever as to take Ayako down and secure a huge JoshiMania win.

Exhausted, the two shared an emotional embrace after the match.

That was JoshiMania Night Two. As great as Night One was, it was topped here. A fantastic show with a few matches that were instant classics. And, somehow, the JoshiMania had to follow this up in New York. We’ll tell you how that turned out soon. Until then, peace!

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