ACW: Evolution of the Revolution V

On perhaps my 3rd or 4th visit to Austin for an Anarchy Championship Wrestling show, I randomly ran into Paul Ben-Victor, an actor best known for his work as Spiros “Vondas” Vondopoulus on HBO’s acclaimed crime drama, The Wire. The Wire is one of the most beloved series in recent memory due to its living, breathing presentation of the city of Baltimore, the show’s highly complex and well-developed characters, and its labyrinthine mix of intersecting plots. Its portrayal Baltimore felt so believable that the real life analogues of The Wire’s political figures had to answer criticism based on the show. More importantly every character on The Wire, from politicians to drug kingpins to journalists to hustlers to detectives to foster children, found themselves connected in some way.

In ACW we have Matthew Palmer feuding with MASADA, which leads to Palmer feuding with Scot Summers, who is feuding with Awesome Andy, who’s taking on MASADA. Or there’s Rachel Summerlyn who’s always at odds with Athena who is challenging Lady Poison for the American Joshi title which Poison won from Portia Perez, whom Rachel Summerlyn is also always at odds with. This multi-dimensional web of friendships and feuds make Emmy winning cable dramas so addictive, and you can find the same qualities in ACW plus some of the best athletic competition on the planet.

I was lucky enough to see the latest chapter in the Epic of Anarchy this past weekend live at The Mohawk. At least most of it as, due to travel issues, I missed the first few matches. Thankfully TexasAnarchy.com got some great photos and many of the matches will be available on the Anarchy Televised Youtube Channel.

Anarchy Championship Wrestling – Evolution of the Revolution V

The Mohawk – Austin, Texas
Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pre-Show

A. Matthew Palmer defeated Payday

B. Scot Summers defeated Draven (w/ Miss Maulie & Jaykus Plisken) and “Big Rig” Seth Copeland (w/ “Playboy” Johnny Axxle)

C. Angel Blue (w/ Darin Childs) defeated Jessica James (w/ Rachel Summerlyn)

Main Show

1. Pierre Abernathy “defeated” Gary Jay

2. Gary Jay and Pierre Abernathy defeated Ricky Romida and Bolt Brady – I was informed after the fact that the Gary Jay vs Pierre Abernathy match was a less than serious affair, with these two members of the Submission Squad trying to go home early without giving the fans a legitimate contest. However, Bolt and RR had a problem with this and challenged them to an impromptu tag match. Bolt’s magnificent pants and Gary’s Member’s Only Jacket were apparently also at stake in this contest.

3. The Lost Boys (Jason Silver & Sky de Lacrimosa) defeated Cali Krush (Dax Daring & Jordan Jensen), The Hired Guns (Aiden Colt & Omega), and Legion of Shroom (JC Bravo & Chingo Del Santo) – The Lost Boys took out the LOS who took out the Cali guys who took out the Wild Guns. Barry Breeze, still bitter at his former friends, ran in and cost the Legion of Shroom the match Upon victory the Lost Boys spoke up, demanding a shot right then and there at the ACW Tag Champs Rachel Summerlyn and Jessica James. They’ve claimed for months that they had more than earned a title opportunity, but were left unsatisfied.

4. “The Business” (Berry Breeze, Killah Kash) and “Team S.E.X.” (High Roller Hayze, Amanda Fox, “Playboy” Johnny Axxle) defeated Jeff Gant, Payday, “Too Much Metal” Gregory James & “Just Sexy” (Just Willie and Slim Sexy) – Having found direction under the guidance of hipster-smashing culture-clashing improv-mashing Chris Trew, Breeze and Kash, along with the now complete Team S.E.X. scored a very impressive win over the mish-mash I Just Pay For Metal Sexy Lovin’ team. In particular, Amanda Fox seemed to enjoy showing young Jeff the ropes, though he held his own, and Kash’s new new attitude seems to have made him into the monster he always wanted to be.

As the competitors dispersed the biggest monster in all of pro wrestling, Portia Perez, came from out of nowhere and brutally attacked Amanda Fox, planting her head first on a chair with a DDT. Portia took to the mic claiming, once again, that she was the best wrestler in the world and she was tired of other women who aren’t on her level stepping to her. She promised to end Lillie Mae’s career in the next match.

5. Bunkhouse Brawl – Portia Perez defeated Lillie Mae via referee stoppage after the Ninja Choke – The last time these two met, Lillie Mae did something few people today can manage: she beat Portia Perez. She did something even fewer have ever done, and that’s embarrass Portia Perez (via slop bucket). Portia started this feud by taking a wrench to the already broken nose of Lillie Mae at this past June’s Queen of Queens tournament, robbing Lillie of her chance at competing. However, Lillie had managed to turn the tables in recent months at it was Portia that was out for revenge and blood, and she got both.

As advertised, these skilled wrestlers spent most of their time just trying to maul each other, inside the ring and out. Lillie brought a branding iron which she put to use, unheated, on Portia. She also took her belt off and just whipped her. Portia turned the entire venue into weapon, slinging Lillie into, onto, or off of anything she could find. Classy as always, Portia also found time to spit in Lillie’s face and assault a bystander who got in her way. Eventually, Portia’s frienemy Darin Childs came in and returned Portia’s beloved wrench to her (which he had stolen/borrowed at an earlier show). With that she busted Lillie in the grill again, drawing blood and leading her to another brutal choke out victory.

Portia refused to let go of the hold initially and Rachel Summerlyn, whose beef with the Ninja will likely never end, came out to help Lillie as the ref brought her to the back for medical attention. That bled into…

6. Angel Blue (w/ Darin Childs) defeated Rachel Summerlyn – It was the 2011 MVP of Anarchy against perhaps the Best Comeback/Most Improved wrestler on the roster.  Early on there were shades of Nakajima as Rachel added some roundhouse middle-kicks to her arsenal. She slapped Angel so hard that she began asking existential questions like, “Why does everybody keep slapping me?” The answer she seemed to come internally was, “Because they have arms,” so, she tried to remove Rachel’s with various holds.

A massive dead-lift wheelbarrow suplex and Rachel was back in control. As fans chanted “MAKE! HER! TAP!” Rachel began to apply the Texas Cloverleaf, securing the victory. That is until Angel’s Children of Pain compatriots, the Lost Boys, came out. Darin, leader of the COP, had somewhat controversially accompanied Blue to the ring and showed his full support for her throughout the contest. However he commanded his minions to not interfere in this match, but Silver and De Lacrimosa refused to listen so driven for their quest for a tag title shot. They put Rachel out cold with some huge throws and allowed Angel to take the win. Darin showed some concern for Rachel, which angered Blue. This seeming Dissension amongst the COP came at an inconvenient time, as those vamps are going to need backup from Darin, Blue, and Wolfe in order to not get dusted by Rachel.

7. Anarchy Televised Title Match – “Mr. Showtime” Scot Summers (c) defeated Darin Corbin to retain title – Darin Corbin faced MASADA wearing a dress. Darin Corbin faced Scot Summers wearing polka dots and rainbow fringe. Darin Corbin is the toughest man in professional wrestling.

Scot Summers was returning from his tour for FREEDOMS in Japan, and he felt like elbowing people in the face. You couldn’t ask for a better face to elbow than Corbin’s, but he gave as good as he got. The match was really good and much closer than fans seemed to expect. The underestimated Corbin proved again that he can go just as hard as any of the regular Anarchists. Unfortunately for Corbin, he allowed himself to get distracted by Scot’s ‘half’ brother, Stan. This led to a “Say ‘Hi’ to Jun Kasai” Sheerdrop Brainbuster that gave Scot the win.

8. American Joshi Title Match: Athena defeated Lady Poison (c) with The “O” Face to win title – The live action horror film known as Lady Poison has dominated ACW since January, after she defeated Portia Perez for the American Joshi Championship at Guilt By Association V. The highly skilled, highly athletic, highly devious Athena also made a name for herself on that show by defeating Rachel Summerlyn in a savage 10,000 thumbtacks match. With Lady Poison proving to be one of the most unstoppable champions in all of wrestling people had begun to wonder if anyone was ever going to take the title from her. Athena, on the other hand, had no doubts that it was once again her time to reign over Anarchy.

Athena started the match using  the submission moves she’s added to her arsenal recently. A great strategy, if you’re facing a wrestler and not a Lovecraftian monstrosity that’s merely taken the form of a wrestler. Athena completely dislocated Poison’s shoulder and Poison casually used the ropes to reattach her arm to the rest of her body. Things only got sicker from there. Gary Jay and Pierre tried, but were sent to the back after LP dived on them, from the top rope to the outside, and filled their mouths with her venom.

The Wrestling Goddess took advantage of the distraction, and smashed Poison with the American Joshi title for the win. Wait, no she didn’t because you can’t kill what’s already dead. Lady Poison rose up a split second before the three count and dragged Athena out of the ring.  They brawled on the stage outside of the ring and Athena powerbombed Poison into a wall! She brought LP into the ring and hit her amazing diving top rope stunner, the “O” Face, but that still wasn’t enough! Lady Poison was back in control however, having spent all her black death on the Submission Squad earlier, Poison was not able to put a poison kiss on Athena.

Finally, it took a massive inverted-powerbomb and another “O”-face to stun the zombie queen long enough to score a pinfall. As Athena began to celebrate with her hard-won belt, Poison clawed at her feet, gnarling and gnashing with her blackened teeth. The SS came from the back and all three ganged up on Poison, beating beat her unconscious. That brought out Poison’s…friend, Matthew Palmer. While he was scheduled to be in the next match, taking on his person “big bad” MASADA, Poison was in bad shape and rumors floated that he left the building to get her some medical attention. Either way, he did not answer the call for the next match, but two other men stepped up to challenge the Hardcore Beast.

9. Hardcore Title Match MASADA (c) defeated Mat Fitchett and Awesome Andy to retain title – Anarchy’s Young Lion, Mat Fitchett, may have picked the wrong match on the wrong day to try and get a piece of Anarchy gold. While he wowed the crowd as usual with his aerial ability, including a stunning Shooting Star Press off one opponent onto another, and resilience, Fitchett spent quite some time on the outside looking in on someone else’s war. You see, Awesome Andy has a problem with Scot Summers, his former mentor whom he betrayed, which also means he has a problem with MASADA, and Andy is arrogant/insane enough to like it that way.

And, actually, Andy more than held his own against the Beast, and survived the requisite Hardcore title defense chair party as well as some of MASADA’s most devastating moves. It even took a bit of help from Scot Summers and, of all things, a school boy by MASADA to end the match. The war didn’t end as while Summers went after Andy, Matthew Palmer came out of nowhere and wrecked the already weakened MASADA! It picked up the Hardcore title, which he passed up an opportunity for tonight, and tossed it back at MASADA, declaring he’d take it on another day.

Seeing the carnage, Summers chased Palmer out of the ring. He checked on MASADA looked at Palmer, who was crouching on the balcony of the Mohawk, and screamed, “You’re not crazy motherfucker, I am.” Summers is wrong. Palmer has gone from being a shallow lackey, to the home-grown World Champion “Son of Anarchy,” to dedicating his entire existence to the destruction of MASADA, all in just a year. There is an idea of a Matthew Palmer, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real Matthew Palmer, only an entity, something illusory, and though Scot Summers can look into his cold gaze and MASADA can drive a spike into his foreheard and feel flesh tearing and maybe they can even sense their passion for wrestling and violence is probably comparable: Matthew Palmer is simply not there [1. I wish I had time to explain this reference, but I have to return some video tapes.].

10. ACH defeated Mia Yim – ACH is one of the hottest prospects in wrestling. With his unmatched athleticism and superstar charisma, it’s only a matter of time before he is absolutely everywhere. In fact, he was just coming off of his debut for Dragon Gate USA. Mia Yim is another young, charismatic, athletic wrestler who’s generating more and more buzz. She had just appeared for ROH the previous day and was getting ready to make her third tour of Japan in the week following the show. Add in their jabs at one another over the internet, and the match that makes itself. Yes, one happens to be male and one happens to be female, but this is Anarchy and trivial things like that, thankfully, don’t matter.

Someone should have given that memo to ACH. He began the match by saying that while he, of course, respects Mia as a competitor, he’d feel really bad if he hit her. So, Mia slapped the shit out of him. He tried to explain again, with the same result. On the third go, he ducked the strike and the match started proper. Still, ACH avoided using his martial arts ability, instead focusing on his equally good technical wrestling and high flying ability. Mia focused on technically kicking the black off of him. Leg kicks, head kicks, Penalty Kicks, Apron Kicks, running knee kicks to the corner, everything in the expansive arsenal of Mia left it’s mark on ACH.

Drawing inspiration from a current world tag team champion in the audience, ACH tried to slow Mia with a T-Bone suplex as well as the Haas of Pain submission. Mia then went for the kill herself, slapping on the K.I.D. guillotine choke multiple times, almost putting ACH out. ACH called for the World’s Greatest 450 splash, and while he was unable to hit it, he still scored the pinfall. This was for the best, as post-match Mia was still fresh enough to listen to ACH’s heartfelt poem. I do wonder why ACH never wrote anything for Jessica James.

This was a really great match, perhaps the best of the night. The crowd was very into it and Mia’s thunderous kicks. This is a match that wouldn’t happen anywhere else, and highlights what makes ACW one of the best wrestling companies in the world.

11. Double Jeopardy Match for ACW Heavyweight Title: Stage 1 – Jaykus Plisken (win & advance to stage 2) defeated Davey Vega (c) | Stage 1 – Darin Childs defeated Shawn Vexx | Stage 2 – Darin Childs defeated Jaykus Plisken to win title – Before the match Portia Perez attacked again! This time she took out Angel Blue leaving Darin, whose vampires were moody, with none of his COP backup. Darin looked almost puzzled by Portia’s actions, after all he had given her the wrench back. I’m not sure what relationship he had with P2, but he should know by now: Portia is a dick.

Pre-Match ACW ring announcer Barry kindly explained that this Double Jeopardy match would start with two separate singles matches going on simultaneously and the winders of those two matches would face each other in a final match to determine the ACW Champion. The competitors, kindly, ignored this rule and began throwing an “Everybody hates Jaykus,” party. Eventually the wrestlers did pair off with their assigned opponents, but  Only with the help of Draven and Maulie was Jaykus able to recover from his early beating. He shocked everyone by somehow putting the defending Vega out with the first pinfall, guaranteeing a new ACW Heavyweight champion before the end of the night.

Vexx and Darin have a storied history so their half of the match had devolved into a bloody brawl. However Jaykus declared he wanted Darin in the finals and, against the advice of his crew, decided not to rest up and helped Darin defeat Vexx. While neither man was 100%, Darin was bleeding heavily and Jaykus had Takeover backup in his corner. However, miscommunication with Draven and a driver through a bed of chairs later, and Darin Childs was the new ACW Heavyweight Champion. He looked more shocked than anyone at the result. Longtime ACW fans may recall that last time he won it, he only “held” the title for a few minutes (before Scot Summers made and won a challenge for the belt).

And that was the show! Be sure to check out this great compilation live reactions, from fans and wrestlers, on Storify. And be sure to tune in next month to see if the Children of Pain rally around their leader, or continue their dissension. Has Palmer taken on too big a task in angering both MASADA and Summers? With the zombie defeated will the vampires rise, or will The Slayer add another notch to her stake?  Are Mia and ACH meant to be?  Will there be any Joshi left to stop Portia’s terrifying reign of ninja terror? All this and more, next time on Anarchy.

[nggallery id=63]

And here’s a bonus match! Check out Anarchist Mia Yim in Japan as she takes on another amazing high-flyer, Ray:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSmG2ZWdmuU

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